So, I recently told my BFF that this may be the hardest time of of life. She agreed. Let’s call it the stage when women begin feeling irrelevant to their kids or washed-up as “aging” women.
See if you understand where I’m coming from: We’ve been through those big, glamorized milestones, right? We’ve graduated from high school, maybe from college, fallen in love, gotten married, maybe launched a career, had our babies, bought our first home, our second and and a third and then… well, then the biggest milestones are over. Except maybe retirement and grandkids. This is the point at which a mom can begin to feel irrelevant. And, a woman can begin to feel washed-up.
If you’re a mom whose kids have hit the pre-teen, teen or college years, then you’ve reached the stage where your kids no longer scream with glee and run to hug you every time you walk in the door. They don’t kiss you as often as they can. They no longer say “mommy, watch” every three minutes. They probably don’t want to hold your hand in public. They may be embarrassed when you show up at a school function. Or, if you’re a home-school mom, they may not trust your teaching as much as they did when they were little. Am I right, even just a little bit?
If you’re a woman whose seeing fine lines and hearing creaky joints, then you’ve reached the aging woman stage. The aging woman is not the one sought after in romance novels. She’s not featured on magazine covers. She’s not admired on the big screen. If anything, aging women are often portrayed as ugly or wicked villains. Popular culture is not kind to aging women. Now, I know this will only bother you IF you think outer beauty is more important than inner beauty… which it’s NOT. However, most women would probably like to feel young and beautiful — on the outside — for a lifetime. Why do you think they invented plastic surgery & botox?
I think of the recent admission of a famous TV anchor in Los Angeles, who was arrested for DUI. This once-young-and-beautiful TV personality AND mom admitted she began to struggle when her kids left the nest. Irrelevant mom? Washed up woman? [Clip Below]
So, I just want to put it out there. I think A LOT of women struggle at this stage. I think they feel like they’re no longer important to their kids. I think they may feel they’re not as attractive to their husband. [Single moms probably struggle with the same feelings of unattractiveness.] I think they may feel like it could be too late for them to reach the pinnacle in their career… or maybe they already have. So, there is despair… even if it’s subtle.
NOW FOR THE PEP TALK: You are NOT irrelevant NOR are you washed-up. You’re important for what you’ve done and what you’re going to do. If your kids are contributing good things to the world, then you ARE still relevant. You raised them to do this. If you’ve got a husband or a community or a workplace or a church, then you should NOT be irrelevant. You’ve still got things to do to make the world a better place. You were literally created “fearfully and wonderfully” to be the unique woman you are. You are loved by the One Who created you. You were designed for a purpose… and it’s not over.